Dating During Separation: Moving On or Complicating Things?

Filing for divorce is the start of what can be years of litigation. Once you and your spouse are legally separated, there is nothing stopping you from starting to date other people; however, make sure to keep these three things in mind:

1. Assets

During marriage, all assets acquired are generally considered marital property and are up for equitable distribution. An issue that can come with dating is spending down your marital assets on someone new. While you may want to wine and dine your new significant other, keep in mind that if you are spending marital assets doing so, you may be held accountable for dissipating the marital estate. Draining the joint account on trips and expensive dinners won’t just upset your spouse, but it will likely cause more issues in litigation. If you are going to spend money, it is best to use your post-separation earnings or request an advance of funds that can later be applied against your share of equitable distribution. It is also important not to make any changes to your beneficiary designations for any insurance policies or financial accounts.

2. Children

If you have children, you should not introduce them to your new partner too soon. Even when both parties and the children become accustomed to this new way of life, you still need to be careful about exposing your children to significant others. The best interest of your children is the primary concern of the court when it comes to decision-making. If your spouse argues that you are harming the children by exposing them to your new partner, that could be taken into consideration by the court when making custody determinations. If there is already a custody order in place, make sure you check the terms of the order, as many orders will include terms prohibiting each spouse from introducing the children to a new partner within a certain amount of time or until the children reach a certain age. Violating a court order may expose you to additional litigation and legal fees and can even result in less custody time with your children.

3. Emotions

Before you decide to jump back into the dating world, make sure you are emotionally prepared for what is to come. While you may think you are ready to get back out there, divorce litigation can be emotionally and financially draining. The divorce process may begin amicably, however as litigation progresses it is common for parties to become frustrated and angry. What was once a civil discussion can often blow up into hostile court proceedings, and mixing in the emotions of dating isn’t always the answer.

It is important to take the time to decide if dating during separation is the right decision for you and your circumstances. If you do decide to start dating, you need to be completely transparent with your attorney so they can best advise you in situations that may impact your divorce and/or custody proceedings. 

The information contained in this publication should not be construed as legal advice, is not a substitute for legal counsel, and should not be relied on as such. For legal advice or answers to specific questions, please contact one of our attorneys.