‘Tis the Season for Custody Issues: Tips to Minimize Conflict for Co-Parents During the Holidays

It is hard to believe that the holiday season is right around the corner!  Whether you have been co-parenting separately for several years or this is your first year spending time away from your children, the holidays can be challenging, exciting, and chaotic.  Here are some steps you can take now to minimize stress and make sure that your children enjoy the holiday season with the people in their lives who love them.

1. Read your custody order.

If you have a custody order, review how your regular schedule will change over the holiday season.  Take note of transfer times and make sure your plans account for arriving on time to a custody exchange.  If you do not have a custody order, you can talk to a Family Law Attorney about how to put one in place.

2. Plan ahead.

Now is the time to schedule those special family traditions that you don’t want your child to miss! If you have plans to celebrate the holidays with your child, try to fit them into your custodial time.  Talk to your extended family to plan larger celebrations around your custodial time, if possible.  Take a look at your child’s school schedule and plan for early dismissals and school parties. 

3. Be flexible.

Sometimes, when you are sharing custody of your child, your holiday celebration might look different from what you envisioned.  You may be cooking Thanksgiving dinner earlier than you wanted to, or opening Christmas gifts at night instead of in the morning. More often than not, your holiday schedule will switch from year to year, so next year, it will be better.  Try to remember that the holiday has less to do with the day or time you are celebrating, and more to do with the time you get to spend with your child.

4. Communicate with your co-parent.

No matter how much you plan ahead, there will inevitably be conflicts.  The best and most cost-effective way to handle these conflicts is to communicate with your co-parent.  Give your co-parent as much notice as you can of the conflict and offer to swap days to accommodate both of you.

5. Remember the best interests of your child.

Through the stress of planning, remember the goal is to give your child the best childhood possible, regardless of your relationship with their co-parent.  While it is natural to want to maximize your custodial time with your child, especially around the holidays, the most important thing is that your child has memories of celebrating with everyone in their life who loves them.  Keeping your child’s best interests in mind is the best gift you can give them!

If you have any questions or concerns regarding your custody order or your holiday schedule, reach out to one of Obermayer’s Family Law Attorneys.  

The information contained in this publication should not be construed as legal advice, is not a substitute for legal counsel, and should not be relied on as such. For legal advice or answers to specific questions, please contact one of our attorneys.