Family Matters

The Pros and Cons of Nesting Agreements

One of the many difficult decisions parents face when separating is how to minimize disruption to the children’s routine and schedule. One of many options families consider is bird nesting agreements, also commonly referred to as nesting agreements.

A nesting agreement is a custody arrangement that allows the children to remain in the familial home while the parents alternate exercising their custodial time according to a set schedule.

In some cases, the non-custodial parent vacates the familial home when they are not exercising custody; in others, the parents remain in separate quarters of the home, and the off-duty parent is sequestered from interacting with the children, leaving all childcare responsibilities to the custodial parent. Nesting agreements can be informal or formal in a written custody agreement or Court Order, often for a temporary period during the parties’ separation. While this arrangement can offer stability for children, it is not the best solution for every family.

An advantage of a nesting agreement is that it allows children to remain in an environment that they are accustomed to. The children continue sleeping in the same bed, have access to all of their belongings, and maintain consistent routines, which can be especially beneficial during a time of transition. Rather than children constantly packing and moving between two homes, the parents bear the burden of transitioning between homes. This can help ease emotional stress for children during the separation process.

For some families, nesting serves as a temporary solution until the parties reach a final custody agreement.  Nesting agreements require cooperation on both parents sides and, if implemented correctly, demonstrate the parents commitment to prioritizing the children’s needs.

Although there are several benefits for the children in nesting agreements, nesting agreements can be challenging for the parents. As mentioned, in some nesting agreements, the non-custodial parent is required to vacate the familial home, which can be costly for the parent as they will be responsible for maintaining two residences. On the contrary, it can be financially beneficial to the parents to continue to share expenses with the other party

Nesting agreements are successful when there is reduced conflict between the parties.  However, sharing a home with the party you are separating from can make it difficult to establish boundaries, particularly when you continue to use common spaces. There could be several disagreements stemming from household responsibilities, such as cooking and cleaning, emotional and practical boundaries.

While nesting can be effective in the short term, it is rarely a permanent solution. Nesting agreements can be a valuable arrangement for families who are highly cooperative and focused on minimizing disruption for their children. However, they require careful planning, clear financial arrangements, and realistic expectations.

If you are involved in a custody action and interested in establishing a custody agreement, a conversation with one of Obermayer’s family law attorneys can help you navigate the process.

The information contained in this publication should not be construed as legal advice, is not a substitute for legal counsel, and should not be relied on as such. For legal advice or answers to specific questions, please contact one of our attorneys.