While family law attorneys see divorces every day, a good lawyer will recognize that this is probably the client’s first rodeo. The legal jargon will be overwhelming. The process can feel daunting, confusing, and never-ending. No divorce is the same, but this guide will hopefully give you a roadmap of what to expect. No matter what phase of divorce you are in, whether you are considering filing for the first time or you are in the thick of it, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Regardless of whether one party asked for a divorce or whether you both decide to part ways, either party can file for divorce. It does not make much of a difference which party files, except that the filing party can control the timing of the filing and pays the filing fees, which differ by county. The divorce complaint will be customized based on your finances and your family dynamic, but generally, the complaint includes standard legalese that is required under the law. You will review the complaint before your attorney files it.
After the complaint is filed, the other party needs to be served. Oftentimes in TV shows and movies, this part of the process is depicted dramatically, with someone showing up to their workplace, shoving papers at them and saying, “You’ve been served!” While we can certainly hire a process server to deliver the filed documents to the other party, most of the time, we can simply ask them to sign for the package when it comes in the mail. If you feel that your spouse is dangerous, if they are not in agreement with the divorce, or if you do not know where they are, you may have to hire a process server to deliver the paperwork. Hiring a process server is probably less expensive than you might think!
At this point, the complaint has been filed and served, tensions might be high, and you are ready to get this over with. You will have to wait at least 90 days from the day that the paperwork was served on your spouse. If your spouse is not cooperating with the divorce, you may have to wait longer. In any case, during this “cooling off” period, you can work with your attorney to decide what documentation they need. If either of you has assets or debts in your name (or in joint names with anyone else), send your attorney statements from these accounts. If you had any assets or debts when you got married, start requesting date-of-marriage statements from your financial institutions. If there is real estate, you can discuss getting an appraisal. The process of collecting and exchanging documents, or “discovery”, can feel overwhelming, but it is important to be open and transparent with your attorney so that they can protect your interests. If your spouse is represented by an attorney, the lawyers can work together to figure out what documents are needed.
Pennsylvania is an “Equitable Distribution” state, which means that if there are marital assets or debts, they will be divided “equitably”, not necessarily “equally”. Hopefully, after exchanging documents, you can reach an agreement with your spouse about the assets and debts you have each acquired during the marriage. If you are not able to reach an agreement, you can go to court to move the process along. While going to court can feel scary, your attorney can guide you through the process and prepare you for each step. Sometimes, going to court can move the divorce toward the finish line faster than negotiations alone.
Once there is either an agreement or a court order dividing your assets and debts, and the Cooling Off period is over, you can finalize your divorce. You will receive a decree within a few months, and at that point, you will be divorced! While receiving the divorce decree can come with emotions, you might also feel a sense of relief. Do something nice for yourself to celebrate this new chapter!
With all of this being said, it’s important to find a lawyer you are comfortable with. Divorce can be an extremely emotionally draining process, and your Obermayer attorney is here to do the heavy lifting and walk you through the process.
The information contained in this publication should not be construed as legal advice, is not a substitute for legal counsel, and should not be relied on as such. For legal advice or answers to specific questions, please contact one of our attorneys.
Caitlin focuses her practice exclusively on family law, handling divorce, custody, support, property division, protection from abuse, and guardianship matters. She is a certified Divorce & Custody Mediator by the Pennsylvania Council...
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